Rapping and leadership

Recently I spent time with a colleague who works in diversity and inclusion. I asked her what practical advice she would offer to leaders in higher education who want to enhance their cultural competencies. It was powerful for me that her starting point is community building through trust and commitment between people, similar to our leadership competency of relationship building and trust. She shared the work of Jamie Washington, PhD., Washington Consulting Group who lists two foundations for building a diverse community.

  1. Communities are built through building relationships of trust and commitment
  2. We are all doing the best we can (most of the time)

Then we moved on to talk about a specific tool for developing effective dialogue skills that leaders can use with their teams to create an inclusive work space. RAPS (Relating, Asking, Panning and Sharing) was developed by Dr. Kathy Obear, Alliance for Change Consulting, as a way to help leaders open up dialogue and to facilitate inclusion. Examples and ideas include:

RELATE to the person or their comment/behavior

  • I relate to what you’re saying, I…
  • I have felt the same way…did something similar….
  • I remember a time when I…
  • How do others relate to that comment?
  • Who can relate?
  • What you’re saying seems to relate to what so-and-so just said

ASK about the specifics behind the person’s comment or behavior

  • Could you say more about that…Tell me more…
  • Can you give us an example of what you’re saying…
  • Help me understand what you meant by that?
  • What do you mean when you say…
  • What were you hoping to communicate with that comment?
  • Can you help me understand what your intent was when you said/did…
  • Can you give me some background on this situation…
  • How were you impacted when….
  • What were you feeling when…
  • What’s your perspective about…

PAN the environment and yourself; look for the whole picture and describe what you notice

  • I’m noticing I’m feeling…anyone else?
  • I notice a dynamic in our group…
  • I noticed how quiet everyone just got…I’m wondering what is going on for folks?
  • You seem to feel passionately about that…
  • It seems some people were impacted by that statement, am I right?
  • I’ve been noticing that people get interrupted and talked over as they try to share…
  • This response is unusual for you….I’m wondering what else is going on for you?
  • It seems my comment/behavior had an impact on you…
  • You seemed to have shut down…
  • The energy in the discussion seemed to shift after…

SHARE about yourself ~ self-disclose a story, example; your feelings or reactions

  • When I hear you say that I think/feel….
  • Just last week I…
  • I remember when I…
  • I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable…
  • I assume you meant that as a joke, but here’s the impact it had on me…
  • The dilemma I’m in is….

Where can you add a little Rapping to your leadership style?

Todd Thorsgaard

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