“That’s crazy,” “I could never do it that way,” You’re wrong,” “No, listen to me!”
Are you hearing statements like these at work? When new ideas are introduced are you seeing battle lines drawn? How do you lead for the common good when it seems like your people have completely different goals in mind?
Well, not to ignore how hard it is but the place to start is with dialogue. Which means helping people actually listen to each other, even if they disagree with what the other person is saying. Your goal is to help people move from:
- persuading or telling
- focusing on differences
- talking at each other
All of which lead to frustration, lack of trust and either/or thinking.
And move to:
- talking with each other
- looking at options
That requires finding some sort of common or shared interests as a starting point for dialogue. Instead of focusing on the dangers of the other point of view and highlighting the positive of their own point of view, help people work on specific issues by looking deeper and identifying underlying values, goals, and concerns that both sides share.
We encourage the leaders we work with to ask these two straightforward questions to build trust and identify shared interests.
- What do we all want?
- We do we all fear or want to avoid?
It will take work to keep people from focusing on their initial points of view and look at the bigger picture, but facilitating this conversation will help you and your people find a common good you can all agree on, and that is a great starting point!
Posted in building teams, common good, communication, goals, polarities, trust
Tagged communication, culture, ego, innovation, purpose, transparency, vision
One of the best decisions a leader can make is to decide to let others make decisions and to create a decision-maker culture. That is what Dennis Bakke recommends in his book, The Decision Maker: Unlock the Potential of Everyone in Your Organization, One Decision at a Time.
As a leader, you are ultimately accountable for how decisions turn out. That can cause many people to hold tightly to their decision-making authority. Instead Bakke reminds us that sharing decision-making responsibility actually can lead to better decisions, more employee engagement, develops employees expertise and supports professional development. To help leaders identify the best person, or group, to make different decisions Bakke describes a formal “decision-maker process.” Use the following four elements to guide your selection:
- Proximity – how close to the situation is the person and can they also see the big picture?
- Perspective – can the person bring a different point of view or utilize multiple points of view?
- Experience – does the person have enough experience in the situation to be able to actually make a decision?
- Wisdom – will you and others trust their decision?
From my experience, when a leader asks me to make a decision it can feel overwhelming and I may feel like I need to prove my worth by making the decision all on my own! If your people react in the same way sharing decision-making can actually backfire. To help address this issue Bakke encourages leaders to coach their people on how to seek out and take advice when making a decision. He also defines good advice as coming from people who have:
- Experience – they know or understand the situation.
- Different positions in the organization – they can provide multiple and diverse perspectives.
- Responsibility – they have an actual connection to the situation and the decision or outcome.
- Ownership – they will back up their advice and the ultimate decision.
It can be scary to relinquish decision-making responsibility but it is a risk worth taking!
Leaders have a choice to make. To grab a shovel and dig in or not!
Simon Sinek, author of Leaders Eat Last, challenged us at the 2016 International Association of Talent Development conference to take on the tough work required to be leaders. He reminded us that being a leader is not a title but a result of choosing to dig deeper into the real issues people are facing. Only then will people trust that you are looking out for them and choose to follow. And only when people follow are there leaders.
What makes it even tougher is that trust is a feeling – an emotion – not a behavior or a skill. So we don’t know exactly what will build trust or how long it will take. Still, Sinek defines a leader as a person who is able to create the conditions inside an organization that cause people to trust. And when people trust each other they can do remarkable things.
Taking the actions to build trust requires both faith and risk. The faith to believe that the small daily actions you take with your people will make a difference to them, even when you can’t see the immediate results. It’s somewhat like the faith I had in my climbing partner this morning when we climbed to the top of the peak you see here. I had never used alpine touring skis to climb up a mountain but I trusted Bob based on the many small actions I have seen him take over the years that demonstrated his authentic concern for my well-being.
Leaders also have to take a risk and grab their shovels to dig into what their people are concerned about, even when they don’t have all the answers or know exactly what they may unearth. Sinek actually stated that he thinks the most important tool leaders need is their shovels, and the willingness to dig up the unknown.
Grab a shovel, trust your people and find out what matters to them and have faith that it will make a difference!
P.S. We carried our avalanche shovels and were prepared to use them but I only had to take it out for my blog photo.
Students at our colleges and universities are becoming increasingly diverse, and many of our schools are promoting diversity initiatives on campus. But how often do students get a chance for meaningful conversation with people from different backgrounds?
We’ve all heard that authentic conversation is one of the building blocks of trust. For our students, this may be the first time they have an opportunity to meet someone from a very different background. Developing curiosity and respect for other people’s traditions will help them succeed in school and also in the world of work. At the same time it can also present a challenge for faculty and staff who want to provide safe environments where students trust each other enough to engage in deeper dialogue.
I just attended our MnSCU Academic and Student Affairs leadership conference and heard about a creative idea to address this problem. Tiffany Korver and Jan Stanley from St. Cloud Technical and Community College have developed a collaborative partnership that builds cross-cultural dialogue into the curriculum.
Stanley teaches a course in cultural anthropology and Korver teaches an introductory writing course aimed at ESL learners. As part of each course, students meet together several times to interview each other and learn about a variety of subjects such as cultural traditions, work, family, and even religion. Students are then assigned to write papers that apply their experiences to the course content.
For the ESL students, it’s a chance to practice speaking, increase their vocabulary, and use their writing skills to explain aspects of their cultures. The anthropology students are able to develop curiosity and and apply textbook knowledge to real-life interviews. Both groups report that they recognized their commonalities and were able to develop a stronger campus community.
What examples have you seen of creative ways to create connections?
Dee Anne Bonebright
“I find that when you open the door toward openness and transparency, a lot of people will follow you through.” – Kirsten Gillibrand
Transparency is an essential ingredient to building trust in teams and in entire organizations. According to leadership expert, Stephen M.R. Covey, “transparency is based on the principles of honesty, openness, integrity, and authenticity.” When leaders are transparent and communicate openly, as Kirsten Gillibrand states, people trust them and follow them more readily. When leaders build cultures that have transparent processes and communication, it gives their employees and customers greater confidence in the organization, because they know that nothing is being hidden. Multiple studies demonstrate that greater transparency translates into stronger, more productive organizations.
I’ve been inspired recently by the transparency demonstrated within my own human resources (HR) community in the Minnesota State Colleges and Universities. We are in the process of moving some transactional processes to a shared-service model. On the surface, it may sound simple. Believe me, it’s not! The process represents a daunting large-scale change effort to move transactions from 31 individual HR offices across our system to four regional service centers.
The team leading this effort has created an environment of transparency through multiple communications and opportunities for dialogue and participation among human resources professionals and other stakeholders. While the change effort can be scary for some whose offices and jobs will be affected, the transparency demonstrated in the process has created great trust among my HR colleagues. Most believe that the leadership team will make decisions that are thoughtful, humane, and in the best interest of both the colleges and universities and its employees.
As you think about creating transparency, you might want to consider the following questions:
- What information should I be sharing with my team and other stakeholders on a regular basis? Am I withholding information? If so, why?
- Ask your team: how can we make our processes or business practices more transparent to our stakeholders? Then look for ways to increase transparency!
What are some strategies you employ to create transparency?
What helps us decide whether we can trust a leader? Research has found two main factors: warmth and strength. An article in Harvard Business Review explained that these factors answer two critical questions: “What are this person’s intentions toward me?” and “Is he or she capable of acting on those intentions?”
So is it better for leaders to start by creating warm and caring relationships, or to demonstrate competence to deal with challenges? The article stated that influential leaders start with warmth – creating connections and building trust inspires people to follow enthusiastically rather than feeling coerced. Even small nonverbal gestures such as smiling or nodding can indicate attentiveness to the other person, which in turn inspires trust in your ability to address their concerns.
Barbara Brooks Kimmel followed up on the HBR article by interviewing one of the researchers. Peter Glick explained that trust is a necessary ingredient to build commitment and motivation for an organization’s members to work toward common goals. He observed that without trust, leaders need to focus on control and compliance, which further erodes trust and contributes to a downward spiral of diminishing engagement.
Kimmel published a series of blog posts on “52 Ideas to Build Trust.” Some ideas include:
- Minimize fear by reinforcing candor
- Set intentional promises and expectations on what you will deliver
- Be inclusive in decision-making
- Encourage risk-taking and celebrate positive failures
- Be a role model
What actions can you take to build trust with those you work with?
Dee Anne Bonebright
Agonizing, painful, draining, scary, oppressive, need to document everything, requires excessive preparation, complex, confusing, misleading, insincere, duplicitous and just plain – no fun! Sound familiar?
Those are the words I hear when I ask leaders, “what is it like to work with someone who doesn’t trust you or someone that you don’t trust?”
Next everyone laments how it feels impossible to restore or to regain trust after it is lost. I have to admit I feel the same way. When something goes wrong it just feels like so much work to rebuild the relationship and I end up focusing on the daunting task ahead, instead of taking action.
As challenging as it is, leaders are responsible for not just building trust but also restoring trust when it is missing. Henna Inam, Executive Coach and contributor to Forbes magazine describes a three step approach for leaders to rebuild trust.
Manage yourself – Often the hardest step but a required one. We must shift from placing blame to taking action. Inman recommends:
- take personal accountability for restoring the relationship; don’t wait for it to fix itself
- reframe your view of the other person
- accept their perspective as legitimate – even if it is different from yours
Initiate a conversation, even knowing it will be uncomfortable – restoring trust will only happen with direct communication. Be sure to:
- state the reality that there is an issue, in a non-threatening or defensive manner
- clearly verbalize your interest in rebuilding the relationship and ask for their help
- acknowledge your role in the broken trust
- listen with empathy and avoid defending your actions
- use dialogue to get their ideas and then commitment to action to restore trust
- agree to give each other feedback on what is working and what isn’t as you take action to restore trust
Follow through with action – restoring trust takes time and requires persistent action.
- continue to follow through on your commitments, even when the other person isn’t
- be prepared for skepticism at first
- look for small victories
Often you will need to go back to step one but with commitment and focus you can take the steps that will improve trust in many situations. Good luck!